We Learned How to Survive Alone — But That Was Never the Plan

We’re not meant to do life alone — but somewhere along the way, we started believing we were supposed to.

Modern culture quietly rewards independence, self-sufficiency, and emotional containment. We’re taught to “handle it,” to self-regulate in isolation, to process quietly, and to keep moving — even when our nervous systems are overwhelmed.

We’ve become incredibly good at functioning without support.

But functioning isn’t the same as healing.

Motherhood makes this truth impossible to ignore.

When the help fades, the nights stretch long, and the responsibility never pauses, it becomes painfully clear: healing, regulation, and wholeness do not happen in isolation. They happen in relationship.

The Science: Our Nervous Systems Are Wired for Connection

From a biological perspective, humans are not designed to self-regulate alone — especially during periods of stress, transition, or identity change.

Our nervous systems calm through co-regulation: the process of settling and stabilizing through safe connection with others. This happens through shared breath, tone of voice, facial expression, eye contact, and presence.

Before we ever learn to self-soothe, we learn to be soothed.

When those relational cues are missing, the nervous system stays in a low-grade state of alert — even if nothing appears “wrong” on the surface. This is why so many women feel exhausted, anxious, or dysregulated without being able to name why. 

Community doesn’t heal us because it gives us answers.

It heals us because it gives our bodies safety.

And safety is what allows regulation to happen.

Motherhood Exposes the Cost of Doing Everything Alone

Modern motherhood is profoundly isolating.

After birth, there is often a brief window of attention — and then the world moves on. The expectation is that you’ll adjust, adapt, and manage privately, even as your body, hormones, identity, and nervous system are undergoing massive change.

And it’s not just motherhood.

This same isolation shows up during grief, burnout, divorce, illness, career transitions, and periods of deep uncertainty. We’re expected to be resilient without being supported.

But resilience without relationship eventually turns into depletion.

What mothers — and women in general — need isn’t more information or better coping strategies.

We need places to land.

The Ancestral Memory We Haven’t Lost

Long before therapy rooms, self-help books, or online platforms, women gathered.

Around fires.

In kitchens.

On the land.

They raised children together.

Processed grief together.

Marked transitions together.

There was an embodied understanding that life is too much to carry alone.

That knowing didn’t disappear — it lives in our nervous systems.

This is why sitting in circle can feel familiar even if you’ve never done it before. Why being witnessed without being fixed can bring immediate relief. Why hearing another woman say “me too” can soften something deep in the body.

These gatherings aren’t new.

They’re remembered.

Why Spaces Like This Matter Right Now

The TEW Online Community Portal will officially open in March 2026 — and the truth is, it’s been years in the making.

Not because I didn’t know how to build it.
Because I wanted to understand why it needed to exist.

What I keep witnessing — in retreats, in trainings, and in the quiet conversations after — is this:

We’re not lacking tools.

We’re lacking togetherness.

Most people actually know what helps them regulate, grow, or stay aligned.
The hard part is doing it alone… in the in-between seasons of life.

Modern life gives us information, but very little support.

And what shifts people the most isn’t performance or productivity — it’s recognition:

I’m here.
You’re here.
We’re still here.

That simple truth regulates the nervous system more effectively than most things we try to force by ourselves.

Community spaces like this don’t exist to fix us.

They exist to remind us we were never broken.

They fill the gaps modern life quietly leaves behind.

This Is About Remembering, Not Becoming

Spaces like community gatherings — online, in person, or in circle — don’t ask us to become someone new.

They ask us to remember something very old:

That we’re allowed to be held.

That we’re allowed to arrive as we are.

That healing doesn’t require isolation.

In a world that constantly asks us to do more, these spaces offer something quietly radical:

A pause.

A shared breath.

A place to land.

And sometimes, that’s exactly what allows everything else to begin to shift.

Closing Reflection

Community isn’t a luxury.
It’s not extra.
It’s not optional.

It’s how nervous systems regulate.
It’s how humans remember who they are.
And it’s how we heal — together.

Because the truth is, growth rarely falls apart during the big moments.
It falls apart in the in-between — after the retreat, after the training, when real life resumes and you’re left trying to hold everything alone again.

That’s exactly why The Embodied Warrior Online Community Portal officially opens in March 2026.

It will live inside a private Facebook community space, along with two live community calls each month — a place to land, ask questions, reconnect, be supported, and stay anchored in the practices and people that help you stay aligned.

Not another thing to keep up with.
A place that keeps up with you.

And until then, if you happen to be in Nicaragua, I’ll be hosting two in-person gatherings:

FEB 22 — 9:00am
Sound Healing at Mark & Dave’s

FEB 28 — 9:00am
Floating Aerial Sound Healing at Mag Rock

Whether online soon or in person now, the intention is the same:

You don’t need to do this alone.
You were never meant to.